Ch-ch-ch-changes

New year, same Endless. 

Hi, I'm Endless Meghan. You're free to call me Meghan, Endless, Endless Meghan, or "you can call me Susan if it makes ya happy." What you'll find here are stories, thoughts, experiences, and maybe a few confessions if you're lucky. 

Today, I bring you a quick anecdote about my favorite coffee mug. I love mugs. I don't have a big collection because I get stuck on one and never let it go for one sentimental reason or another my roommates usually don't know. I don't tell them and they don't ask; if they asked I would tell them, though. 

Some time between 2012-2013 I started working at Nickerson Research where I met my friend, Kevin. It was love at first sight. He was unavailable and I was still healing from a bad relationship. Later, after the staff was cut in half, I spun around and joined him at his desk for the remainder of our time. We were like the Valiant brothers in Who Framed Roger Rabbit sharing that desk to the point of having matching mugs. 

They were office mugs, the Batman mugs, we just claimed them as ours since there was little competition for them. Every morning, he'd make the office coffee as we, the staff, got our bitching out before the boss showed up we settled into our roles of quiet office workers. 

For a year, I sat across from Kevin (often calling each other "muffin" but that's another story for another time), sharing M&Ms, kicking each other under the table to wake each other up, and cheers our morning coffee with our Batman mugs. 

January 2014, Kevin moved back to San Jose to be closer to his family. I stayed at our desk, anxiously awaiting his visits that became fewer as the months went on.

At some point, we were given generic coffee mugs with lids, though the regular mugs never left the office.

The last time Kevin came to visit, he was there for four hours in the morning. He poured a cup of coffee and sat with me like always. He flashed a beef stick at me and I scolded him because of recent health issues he was dealing with. The day went on, I felt like my heart sat in my throat the whole day, even as he leaned around his monitor to get my attention. We met like secret lovers with our faces looking down the alley way between our monitors. He said "Muffin, you're so beautiful."

That was the last time we saw him. He died three days later.

I stole this Batman mug and told Jo she should take the other one; we agreed Kevin would've wanted her to have it.

We're months away from the three year anniversary, I'm still processing my emotions from the loss, though I know he's never far. Still, each morning, I have my coffee in the Batman mug so I can, at least, pretend I'm having coffee with Kevin (Muffin).