Make no mistake, I love being a woman, especially now that I’m grown and comfortable in my skim, but still I am faced with things being said to me that make me wonder if these are things said to men.
I am in love and in a relationship for the first time in quite some time, this is a man I will marry should the day ever come. We are partners, we are a team, we take care of each other, and pick up the pieces the other one forgets, sweeps the floor after the other spills rice while cooking dinner.
After years of being an independent woman, I am in a strong, healthy relationship. So why are multiple people telling me “don’t lose your independence”?
Would you say this to a man?
“Hey Mike, don’t lose your independence in this relationship.”
The urge to stifle my feelings and say “maybe I’m overreacting” is a result of a lifetime of gaslighting because I was born with female DNA.
I’m not overreacting. That’s an important step to make as you grow as a woman - don’t let your feelings be diminished.
I’m not versed in the mechanics of a car, my boyfriend is. So why am I advised to not lose my independence when I say he’s going to check the car before I drive it? I don’t have those skills, he does. He doesn’t try to the things I do because I have those skills, he doesn’t.
Years of being single, everyone wanted me to have a boyfriend. The same people telling me not to lose my independence were telling me not to be an old maid with 12 cats.
I’m excited for the future females, I don’t think we’ll gaslight them as much our generation was.
And for the record, I haven’t lose my independence, in fact, my independence is a trait my partner found attractive. I think everyone needs to keep their eyes on their own paper and quit worrying about my business.